Uncertain. Unstable. Unbalanced. Life’s full of these ‘un-somethings’ and it’s always going to be. It is not going to be what you thought it was going to be when you were 14 and all excited to come out to the real world and be free. In that process of growing up, in that process, in that excitement of wanting to live a life where you are no more grounded by school rules and you are allowed to roam around with your friends, you grow up and without realizing it, a lot of things change.
Do you remember when you used to hang out every day with your group of childhood best friends and maybe just have a cup of tea together and talk all day about anything and you felt happier than you ever were? And then suddenly you do not have time to do that because you have your own life and your career to look after. Your friends have probably moved to another city or another country or they have really hectic jobs, and so do you. And amidst the rush of trying to do better in your life, you feel lonely. You miss them. You miss how amazing these were a few years back. You come back home after a tiring day, and see a new picture of them on Facebook or Instagram – maybe with the group of their new friends, maybe it’s a really happy photo, maybe they won something on a competition or topped their class, and in that loneliness, you feel so proud of them. You feel so happy for them, and you know they are proud of you too.
Maybe the daily chit chats have turned into video-chatting once a month or shooting each other messages every time something exciting happens, but you know that your friendship is still real, it’s still strong. You probably only meet once a year, or sometimes, you miss that meet because of your own commitments, but you know that you are going to hug them and maybe shed a tear when you meet them because you have missed them so much. And in that hug, you realize that the friendship has not changed, it’s the same. Maybe you have made some new friends, and probably lost a few, and it has changed you but that friendship with the people who have seen you grow up from a cranky little girl to a crankier a-little-older girl, that friendship is special.
These people have wanted to disown in public because you embarrass them by talking too loudly or acting all crazy but instead, they act crazy with you. They don’t let you be alone. These are the people with whom you had all those serious talks about what you would do after your school was over. These are the people who know about all your stupid crushes, and flings and still don’t judge you. These people know you’re not feeling okay if you send a ‘hi’ instead of an over-excited ‘Helllooooo’. These people know your fears and also know why they exist. These are the people who were ready to slap the person who made you cry, and slaps you too if you were crying for the wrong person. These people are your real friends.
Maybe they are not with you right now, because you study in different universities, because you are in different cities or different countries, because you both have very hectic jobs. But, you know, they are there to pull your hair or sing a crazy song for you or just talk to you when you need them. These are real friendships, and yes, they exist.